After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
