she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
