My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize