If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
