I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
