just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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