I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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