Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
