party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Damn victory sex feels great
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
