It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
worst night to have a conscience
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
