I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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