I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
