Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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