She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
And then he peed in my hair
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