Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
