4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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