i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
birth control should be required to get into college
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
