And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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