No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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