I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
