u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
