Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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