so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
