Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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