White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
