He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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