Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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