You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
