every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
