i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
