he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
