hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
