where am i from again
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
