So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Houston, we have a squirter
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
