Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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