Someone shit on the floor
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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