i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
