what if every blade of grass was a penis?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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