Only a mothe r could love this liver
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
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