thus making me awesome and them whores
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Im part way to drunk.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize