I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
