im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
