I'm drive I can fine osifer
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he fucked my hip out of place.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
