She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
