Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
