I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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