Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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