You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You're earring is so big in my mouth
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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