sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
this will be a night to untag.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
