Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
