wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
