im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
