Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
