I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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