Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
