Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
