You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
