I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
