ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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