thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
