He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
