you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
