the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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