i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
