i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
