Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
