I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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