there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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