I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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