my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
