wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
