That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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